I have always been told that "patience is a virtue". Something that I have tried to work on but I have never had. I was also told that the older I got the more I would learn patience. Well, I have gotten older and I have noticed, I still don't have any patience. What I have noticed is that the older I get the harder it is for me to accept the transition periods and trust that I will get there or get it. I think over time I become more and more aware of where I thought I'd be at this age, where everyone else is around me at this age and where I actually am. That's where the problem lies, the comparison to others to myself. Not sure where I let that creep in but I have never been one to compare myself to anyone. I have always been comfortable in my life, my choices and my walk in life so why is it now that I am letting what others are doing or not doing affect my walk? I can't understand it. I become more and more frustrated because I can't understand why I feel the need to compare my life to others because there is no reason to do so. That isn't how I have lived my life and I refuse to start now. I am a firm believer in that if you continue to compare yourself to others than you will never be happy. It never rang true until most recently. I think this is the most unhappy I have been in years and it is due to the fact that I continue to see others and believe that I should be where they are. What a complete misconception. I am right where I need to be. God has placed me in this very position and with the very people in my life for a reason. What reason? I guess that isn't for me to know now but I have to get my focus back and realize that I am still a work in progress and everything is working in my favor. I may not be where I want to be but I am truly working towards it. I have daily talks with my self to remind me that I am working towards my goals, that it will get better and God is working on me to be a better person so I can experience a better life.
Although my daily reminders keep me focused every now and then that little nagging voice creeps up and says, "But when is my turn?!" So now I have to find a way to quiet that voice in order to keep my sanity because it all could be worse and I know it has been worse. It's all a work in progress, life is a work in progress and as long as your are breathing, you are working, progressing, I just need to learn to sit back and stay focused on me, everything else will fall in to place.
Til Next Time,
Peaches Jones
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